200209 - Can’t explain..
Author: evilrona | Date: 20.2.2009 | Category: Feelings
I can't explain why, but nothing keeps me safe to know that you'll be here tomorrow.
[The words won't come out].
130209 - eize efes.
Author: evilrona | Date: 13.2.2009 | Category: Night thoughts
no. I really mean it.
you're a loser.
the biggest one i've ever seen.
130209 - new car :-)
Author: evilrona | Date: 13.2.2009 | Category: Thoughts
So my parents wanted to surprise me and bought me a car 
I got new 2006 white Hyundai Getz
I'm happy and thankful. they're the best.
080209 - I’m your passenger
Author: evilrona | Date: 8.2.2009 | Category: Lyrics
"Roll the window down this cool night air is curious
Let the whole world look in, who cares who sees anything
I'm your passenger, I'm your passenger"
Always trust your feelings.
If you think he's an ass he probably is.
Lying, is the most pathetic. stupid. shallow. evil thing.
Nothing has changed,
but at least I saw the mirror of 8 years. and I like what I see when I look at it. I did OK.
050209 - Tow of a kind.
Author: evilrona | Date: 5.2.2009 | Category: Thoughts
Your laugh, your eyes, your hands… it's all the same.
Like I am going through same things 8 years after, with a different perspective.
With an elder's eye I feel like I am going to the same things. same stupid jokes,
That were never actually funny.
Something in this kid I met 8 years ago is dead.
The sweet shyness is now surrounded by drugs,
And absolutley nothing to write home about.
It's a bit sad.
010209 - Annnnnd off we go!
Author: evilrona | Date: 1.2.2009 | Category: School
exams season is here.
see ya' in next life…
it's not a secret I've been terribly scared of the alarms . since the war in the south started, I came up north with an insecurity feeling that something is going to happen. The problem was that I couldn't fall a sleep, every strange sound froze my hear. and still, a week after the alarms in the north, it keeps driving me insane. I barely sleep, every lil noise wakes me up. it takes me hours to fall a sleep. and I am now afraid being alone more than ever before.
I keep the first 20 seconds from the same morning running in my head. (without wanting it of course). and now I am heading a stressful month with all the exams, and I seriously don't know how to handle it.
so I wanted to go to sleep and instead I find myself bitching here. anything but turning the lights off.
This is how it's going to to be in the next 3 years?
Every time I am gonna pass next to this hotel I'll think about the other night in the bar?
it can't be like that 
It's not like anything I have ever been to before.
You're sleeping in your own bed, it's all warm and cuddly in the middle of the freezing winter here (YES. for me it's freezing). suddenly there's this weird sound, in the next few second you're unable to recognize it. it took me around 5 seconds to understand, this is the going up and down alarm they are talking about.
If I would have wanted to write a script about it, the pause will be here. and the next scene is me running like CRAZY calling to my roommates, with my pyjamas and no shoes on (remember, it's verrryy cold out there) to the door, down the stairs, to a lower floor.
At least I could remember this in that craziness fear I was in, in those 60 seconds or more, of alarm.
Everything I thought I'd do in that moment disappeared. all the things that mattered before, dwarfed in compression to the fear I was experiencing, and the need for running for a shelter. I didn't care who sees me like that or if I took my cell phone or the laptop, which contains my life. (seriously).
the next few moments I stood in the middle of the first floor with some neighbors, I said "stood" but I could barely stand there, I didn't feel my legs, all I felt was my heart beating out like double bass machine. and my legs were shaking, and I started to cry, trying to call my mother from my roommate's cell phone, to let her know that I am somehow "OK", I couldn't call, made like 5 mistakes in the numbers until I dialed the right number.
In the first time in my adult life I experienced this situation, the last time was in the gulf war, but it was too long ago. I can try to understand now a bit of what's like living it for 8 years. you just don't get used to it, no matter what. you can't get used to the sound of these sirens.
My heart is with the residents of the south, fully and truly. and of course, with IDF soldiers as well..
May the force be with you and we'll all know better days.
