Take me out.
bring me up.
save me. (from myself).
Archive for the ‘Feelings’ Category
it's been the second week here, and my first weekend. Slowly, I am getting used to the north, it's very different from the center. much more quite, very different vibes. everything is easier.
MY schedule is crazy, I am studying 8-122 hours a day that totally kills me, I hope I'll be able to keep on track. and I won't loose it.I got the chance to meet a lot of new people which is always fun. a bit difficult with the roommates, but it's something I was expecting. I am constantly tired lately, probably related to the low iron levels I've got. I know I should take care about it..
I had a great weekend, Keren came over, we traveled a lot around the area, and saw lots of cool animals. last night we cooked dinner and drank some wine, but were too lazy to go out, so we stayed in. 
I think I like this place 
It's over. and I am GLAD, a huge stone is off my chest now. I really hope I wil never ever have to face things like that. and deal with these things.
it's SO far away from me.
I am happy with the things that happened lately. I love the people around me, I love my job, I'm actually enjoying it. the only thing I really want now, is that loneliness feeling to disappear.
"no one ever told you that forever feels like home".
I haven't been writing for a long time. too many things kept me busy. The new dogs, Pluto, My work. everything changes every day.
Yesterday it has been 2 months since Pluto has gone, as stupid as it may sound for some of the people, I can't get over it. I am thinking about it ALL the time. I miss him like I've never missed anyone in my life. I never thought he took such a big part of me. Last night I woke up around 03:30AM cause I thought I heard him barking, I came out of the window to see if it's him and to call him but then I realized it was Steve. 
I can't deal with it anymore.
The 2 new puppies are cute but it's crazy. I am cleaning after them 24*7 by all means. I barely sleep. my sleep became so weak and poor and that makes me tired and moody all day.
Today a new dog is coming for fostering until I will find a good place for her. I hope it's not going to last long because my dad is going to kill me.
other than that, work is pretty depressing, I am writing documents all day, and to be honest, I hate it. I hate the feeling that I am not giving 100% of me at work. (That's because I can't sit 10 hours a day and write document it never was easy for me, and apparently it will never be).
I need to leave Holmes place, I actually hate this place. and today I am going to Bikram Yoga.
The puppies:
Once again I realize how everything can turn around and people will shit on you. (even your best friend).
RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU.
I am feeling this discomfort, worrying all the time. I barely sleep, I work a LOT. The sadness and the yearning to see him again kills me.
I think I am being punished for something, whatever it is.
I am Truly, Deeply, SORRY.
I went to the cheers last night and it was a blast. 
A lot people and great music. It felt like home.
"Where everybody knows your name,
and they're always glad you came.
You wanna be where you can see,
our troubles are all the same
You wanna be where everybody knows
Your name."
Is the worst part in the story. I can't stand thefact that I don't know where he is and worse that I don't know if he's ok or not. Whateverit is, I hopehe is ok and that nothing bad happened to him. but with the time passing, the chances that he will come back are low
I miss playing with him. I miss the his 'smile' and his tail waving and hiting everything around, I miss his smell, I miss when he comes in the morning to see if everything is ok and he puts his head on my bed.
I can't enjoy anything and can not concentrate in anything not knowing what his condition.
It's a mistery to me
we have a greed
with which we have agreed
You think you have to want
more than you need
until you have it all you won't be free
society, you're a crazy breed
I hope you're not lonely without me
When you want more than you have
you think you need
and when you think more than you want
your thoughts begin to bleed
I think I need to find a bigger place
'cos when you have more than you think
you need more space
society, you're a crazy breed
I hope you're not lonely without me
society, crazy and deep
I hope you're not lonely without me
there's those thinking more or less less is more
but if less is more how you're keeping score?
Means for every point you make
your level drops
kinda like its starting from the top
you can't do that…
society, you're a crazy breed
I hope you're not lonely without me
society, crazy and deep
I hope you're not lonely without me
society, have mercy on me
I hope you're not angry if I disagree
society, crazy and deep
I hope you're not lonely without me
