evilrona.com

I need to face that I missed that train, and I should let it go.

alone with everybody else?

I think that one will be the best statement for the situation.. So it is fun being 5 minuets from everyone and everything, but in the end of the day, you're alone. I've got do many things on my mind that I wanna say tuesday, I don't even know where to start.

"Stay strong
Move on
Keep on "

what the hell is wrong with her? she has something against me.
but why? what have I done that makes her so mean and sarcastic to me.
most of my life I am changing my life style to make you happy. so she will be pleased and satisfied.
but what about me? I just can't stand it anymore.
and when I ask her to tell me what's wrong, then she doesn't want to get pissed and she doesn't want to speak about it, and then I am the bitch. yey.

easy and healthy relationships.
I need to leave the house, ASAP.

I need it, more than I needed anything in my life.
I want it, more than I want anything else.
Please. All my life I've been dying for it.

Please let it happen.
I am desperate for it.

^_Please.

so many things are running in my head right night and I don't know how to deal with most of them. I can't understand how can you be so nice to someone and you won't even get the minimal attention you deserve for the things you did for him. I did not do it to get your attention, I was doing it as a favor to a friend. 
I really don't know how to move on from here. I fell like I am stuck somewhere,
and all I can think is about his kiss.

his kiss was the only thing that kept me alive this weekend.

suddenly I am feeling down,

_{^{we're going down again.}}

I am going out of my mind.
It's funny how it's so much easier for me to talk to someone I barely know and tell him about my fucked up situation and and my most personal things.
I never thought I'd be able to face all these things.
But I do face it. and still I am not doing a thing to change all these things I hate so much.
why is it so hard for me?

I hate this fucked up situation.
I hate the way I am living my life.

There's one thing I don't know how and I can't deal with. Ignorance. whenever I get to face it, it breaks me and kills me. It really is the worst thing someone can experience.
Other than that. I thought killing myself with work will drown these feelings. apparently not. 

_{^{Pfff. I want to disappear.}} 

And I am still @ work.
I didn't get out of the lab all day (except lunch) so my head is about to explode.
I miss someone really badly.
and. ho yeah. I wanna have some life.

THANK YOU.